I (Scientist #2) received an exciting bit of news today in the form of a gchat from future secretary Hillary Rodham Clinton. Said gchat detailed President-Elect Barack Obama’s upcoming endorsement of SGL and his forthcoming urgent call for all earth humans to begin collecting their trash to prepare for the world’s first Space Garbage Launch. Hill said B-Rock would aim for a June 2010 launch, because it starts to get hot in June and that’s when the garbage really starts to smell.
Why am I telling you all of this? I think it’s fairly obvious. One word: GET ON BOARD! Support the movement before the movement supports you. It’s not going to be fair when everyone has no garbage and YOU are sitting there with mounds of trash on your lawn. That’s not right and it’s also not fair. We’ll continue to use this forum as a tool for educational purposes ONLY! And so that we may inform you and get you prepared for what the future has in store for you as well as what lies on the road ahead.
In summation, I encourage you to volunteer at your local SGL community center or make pins and buttons of your own. So that you can start to spread the word about Space Garbage Launch. SGL – It’s easy to explain and even easier to remember. If someone should ask you to explain the SGL project, just say: “Imagine the worst day of your life – the very worst, shit-eating day of your life and how horribly shitty you would feel having had all that bad stuff just happen to you. Now completely reverse that feeling into it’s inverse opposite. That my friend is what you will feel like on the very first day we blast your garbage into outer space.”
Once in a blue moon, we are able to assemble all 3 of us for a formal meeting instead of resorting to digital telecommunications. Our annual Onyx Corsive was no different this year and the freon was flowing (scientist humor, sorry)….
we began discussing the likelihood that the US government would be able to understand fully what we really can accomplish and decided that corporate sponsorship would be the only way we can launch garbage into space and that being a quote, unquote “government run” company would not make sense for us.
The kr-5437 was certainly unsuccessful and of course we all remember that kr-4999 was vastly a part failure and entirely part learning process, but what we do know – beyond all else is that garbage is a real threat. Bigger than Saddam, less entertaining than Rosie, and even unhealthier than the fattest biggest loser from that super awesome tv show on NBC. Thanks.
Recently, the scientists (us) over at Space Garbage Launch official website blog decided it would be the right move to construct a theme song for our mission. So we found a website where you send in an idea for a song , along with a $23.49 paypal credit, and the site writes and records a song for you within 24hrs. Sounded like a pretty good deal. And boy were we right. We just got the finished song and would like to share it with the world. Please enjoy the music for Space Garbage Launch.
The space garbage project reached a new benchmark today. The engineering team developed an energy converter which runs entirely on garbage to power the BFR 6000 space craft. The concept will work much like the Delorian time machine in Back the Future 2. The one where old Biff goes back in time and gives young Biff a sports almanac so that he can gamble and become a millionaire and marry Marty’s mother Lorraine. The vessel will run entirely on power generated by garbage fuel. This will help to keep control on the costs of operating this project.
It’s come to our attention here at SGL, that an alternative garbage removal theory has been introduced into the greater scientific community. A scientist names Alex Rodriguez is claiming to have a newer more “relevant” solution to our impending garbage crisis. Said solution includes drilling a huge hole down into the center of the earth’s core and dropping all the garbage into that hole. A. Rodriguez claims that the center of the earth’s core is super hot and would burn up the garbage, no problem.
BUT we here are SGL believe the solution lies in space. And we would do everything within our grasps and power to make sure the world knows the truth about space trash and utilizing the power of the cosmos for our greater good of society.
As 3 scientists, we believe that all matter of waste should be returned to the outer realm of the cosmos from whence it came and was created. This quiet serious blog is dedicated to our research and endeavors on the subject of waste project management. Welcome to our world and it’s a world of a better tomorrow.
“We’ve dedicated our lives and our livelihood to this project and we will look forward to seeing you grow as you learn about our project.” -Scientist 3
